The Phoniex

What I desire is inside here. I need not search any more. I f was not the epitome of beauty, style, intellect, ambition,  charm and reality creation I would not even think these were parts of me. How do I release this from within, what do I have to do?How can I free the Phoenix? I sit and I think, how, what, when , why? I sigh and I doubt. I allow 'others' to sway my vision of myself and what I know to be true in my heart. I know I am eccentric in all the good ways!I know I can lose 3 sizes in 3 weeks, I know I can easily trade Forex and make 1000.00 a day profit, I know I will be the Top Salesperson. I know I will be known all over Europe for my beautiful voice and music. I know my marriage is perfect. How do I get to where I experience these things? I have to live my life without doubt, but how? Does it really matter if I don't doubt, the sun will still rise,I will still exist, my husband will still love and adore me. The only difference will be me.